linda beder wrote:
Most folks get hurt, then if bad enough, kick the bucket. I did it in backwards! Although technically I didn't 'kick' that bucket, I just touched it.Where did the "I can't get nothing right" come from in your comment on the chlorine spill ?
Actually they are doing well, no signs. There's some pressure cause I can't blow out or (grossly) suck back on the contents. I get a sharp pain sometimes like a toothache that covers the triangle described by r.incisor, r.eye, and r.ear.Sinuses doing ok ? No signs inf in any punctures ?
The right side of my upper lip feels like the after effects of novacaine from the dentist. The scar there sometimes stings, burns, or tingles. I guess it's the nerves mending. The plastic surgeon said he used many more stitches inside than out. In my opinion he's a short, wimpy, chubby, self-important super-ego that clashed with me big time. If I triggered the clash it wasn't intentional.
I think he was intimidated by my size, assertiveness, and take-charge nature ...and resented it. After almost an hour he came blowing into the ER in the middle of my wounds being cleaned and a 12 leak EKG, stopped everything, and ran everyone out but the ER Dr. Despite the fact that I was covered in coagulated blood he proceeded to casually jab me with local anesthetics without taking the time to fill the needle and push the plunger so it would deaden as it went in. I think I was being too stoic about my injuries and he wanted to force a reaction.
He then hurriedly stitched me up complaining all the while to the other Dr. the whole time about how the ER calls were cutting to deeply into his higher paying face lifts and botox injections (practice). He seemed to look at the other Dr. while he was talking more than he did at what he was doing. Because of that and the caked blood, he didn't close the cut on my chin all the way up. It's "L" shaped, and the tab on the inside corner protrudes while below it there's a hole where the cut wasn't closed and no tissue filled in. (I didn't know it at the time, it was so messy I couldn't see it either)
When he finished I pointed out to them that my cheekbone and sinuses was punctured. I said I was more concerned with that than the minor lacerations, burns, and bruises. They looked into my mouth without even taking my top plate or bottom partial out and announced that there was no punctures in there. They ordered a crap load of X-rays, which showed nothing.
I pinched off my nose and inflated my cheek just below my eye to demonstrate and they ordered a CT Scan for the next day. Since I 'just' had lacerations they only prescribed pain meds for 4 days. Days 5 & 6 were tough!
After they reviewed the CT Scan they called me back to up the strength of the antibiotics. I called the prescribing Dr. back and asked for enough to last until my scheduled visit on the 8th since the fracture and puncture was evident. They refused citing policy about not renewing narcotics prescriptions without another office visit! It wasn't so bad that I couldn't stand it, it just pissed me off because it was completely unnecessary for me to hurt that way. What was a visit going to do except give them another hundred bucks or so? They already had the CT Scan results and knew they couldn't tell anything by just looking at me!
What really set me off was that after I'd waited an hour past my appointment time on the 8th I heard Dr.Bise talking loudly in the hall outside the exam.room to someone I couldn't hear. When I tuned in he was saying something to the effect of,"...I'm not going to do that because medicaide won't pay for it anyway." The other person said something and he replied,"They don't pay what it's worth, just what they want to." More blurred speech then,"Yes, he's controlling. He was even trying to take charge in the ER at the hospital."
I have no proof of who 'he' is. Also, I was being covered by Workman's Compensation since my injuries were in the line of duty as a volunteer 1st Responder, and not medicaide. I assume there's differences, but they both probably pay the same way. This explained to me, in my mind, why I was receiving such casual and dismissive treatment. The notion that there was further treatment indicated that I wouldn't get because I was a 'ward of the State' pissed me off.
When he came into the room and asked how I was doing I replied that," I was managing... and still in control." He seemed to take a step back and really look at me for the first time. While he was removing the synthetic sutures, I pointed out that neither he nor the ER Dr. had taken out my dentures and looked under them during their exams, and that my plate had been pushed back in front violently enough that it cut the juncture between my gums and lip. I went on to say that when I was smoking a cigarette without my plate in that I could feel it pulling vacuum on my cheek wound and sinuses. His reply was,"Oh you wear dentures? I sewed that cut up from the inside so the knots wouldn't be in your mouth anyway."
He'd sutured my top and bottom lips on the left outside with 'cat-gut' and wasn't going to remove them since they'd eventually dissolve. I asked him to take them out because they were uncomfortable and a distraction when I eat, drank, or licked my lips. He only took the top one out. While working I think he gave me a compliment. He said he was surprised the impact didn't knock me out, that a normal person would have lost consciousness.
I let all this rattle me so much that I didn't even ask him if the numbness in my lip would go away and the sensations return. Despite the puckering and scabs he said I could go home and shave now. I used clippers to cut my week's growth of beard and cleaned up the wounds. For the first time it made me nauseous when I was cleaning my chin wound. I think it was because the sides of the wound weren't pulled together and one side was sticking out.
I spent the day yesterday with all this going 'round and 'round in my head. The crack about 'being controlling' bothered me as much as the apparent slip-shod care. Anybody that knows anything about PTSD, ADD, or Emergency Response would understand that I was hyper-focused and in "handle it" mode from the time the 911 call went out. Being hurt and becoming the person with circumstances that needed dealt with didn't give me the opportunity to 'stand down'! Being that tightly focused on controlling and minimizing negative effects of the circumstances is what saved my eyes and lungs during the explosion.
"If not me, then who?" I'm not vain enough to believe I'm the best. I do believe that often, I'm the best at hand. Being a FireFighter and 1st Responder is one of the few jobs that I can do well despite my disOrders. Maybe even because of them!
I realize that my symptomatic lack of social and political skills will insure that I am never elected Chief or Asst.Chief of our department. I'm proud though that I am valued enough by the department and my community that I've been made the only Captain in a Scott County Volunteer Fire Department. That and my family are the anchors that keeps me meeting the swells and troughs head on!
NW 11, 10-8 & 10-10
<snipped>Taking care of yourself this time huh ? Good, about time ! You got youngins' watching.
Oh, I put the newspaper article up on the ffz since you had made your blog addy public sometime ago & it was in the newspaper/etc.Lisa/Fluff left a message for you.As always,LindaSome things have to be believed to be seen.
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